BLAM! BAM! PEW! CRUSH! KILL! DESTROY! DIE MOTHERFUCKER!!!
Ahem, sorry, we were just preparing for another typical 2017 game
release. But we prepared all like wrongly and stuff.
OK,
we’ll admit it. When the character select screen came up for
Yonder we let out an audible groan. You know that bit in
The Simpsons where Monty Burns gives a guided tour of the
impressive Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, but ends with a busted
flywire door? Well, this is much like that, but in reverse.
The character screen looks like amateur cack, not even previewing
most choices – you have to select options to see them in situ. But
then the opening cinematic hits and you get a slight Zelda meets Rime vibe. Hmm, is there more to
Yonder beyond those initial impressions?
Oh boy – or
girl - yes. Yes, there is.
You’re the saviour that your
birthland of Gemea needs. Cue swords, guns, bows, arrows and sundry
other weaponry, right? Nope. This is a pacifistic game – and it’s
glorious for it.
Gemea has eight distinct districts ranging
from sandy to snowy, and you must embark upon collecting resources,
performing schlep quests for many of its denizens, crafting,
fishing, farming, befriending animals from the bizarre to the
adorably ridiculous, collecting cats and a whole bunch more as you
set about ridding the land of icky purple fog known as “murk”.
You’ll be aided in this latter task by murk-dispersing little
sprites – assuming that you can find the little blighters.
There’s a sizeable enough open world to potter about in, ready for
you to get into the many and varied tasks afforded you by island
peeps, or just roll about taking in the scenery and chilling. Trying
to batter your way through Yonder would defy the point –
it’s meant to be a place of relaxation.
