POSTED 29/4/11


THE SIMS 3

EA
3DS (also on PS3, Xbox 360, Wii, DS, PC, Mac)

Is life getting you down? Just can’t be arsed anymore? Well buck up little camper, things could be worse. You could be somebody’s digital meat puppet.

Which is what ‘Sims’ are – if you’re the person who’s been so snugly ensconced beneath a boulder long enough to have absolutely zilcho knowledge of the world-conquering franchise. Little people facsimiles that you create – in your image (literally, as you can snap your own fizzog – beware though, fragile egos may crumble), what you wish was your image (hmm, I think I’ll go for the pixelated look today), or just whatever - then set about controlling the lives of, be they clever sims or dim sims... BWAHAHA!

Even though this 3DS version’s a somewhat simplifamacated representation of the whole Sims shebang, it still offers plenty to get puppetmastertational with. You’re completely responsible for every infinitesimal thing your Sim does, from the banal like eating, drinking and taking care of by-products thereof, to the funnerer such as bopping to squonky music, shopping or cracking onto anybody who crosses your path.

Moods, karma and other hippy shit comes into play, as you toddle about your Ikea-like world of boxy abodes and cheapo flat-packed furniture. Plus, you’re alone baby. You’ve one save slot, so use it wisely as you blunder through your alterna-life solo. Well, unless you refer back to our cracking onto anything that moves philosophy proffered earlier, natch.

As’80s kids we loved Little Computer People, which was essentially a super-simplified precursor to The Sims. But it was fun. We’re older and pessimisticer (not to mention illiterater) now, so handling our own life’s crap is enough without being responsible for somebody else’s. Still, if you dig escaping reality and can happily eschew verisimilitudinousness, then The Sims 3 just may be your own portable nirvana.

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