POSTED 4/2/15


SAINTS ROW: GAT OUT OF HELL

Deep Silver

We would do anything for love, we’d run right into hell and back...

At this juncture it’d be dead easy for us to cut and paste a fuckload of Meat Loaf lyrics with vague relevance to hell (and there’re lots of ’em), but that’d be doing this standalone side venture to Saints Row IV a disservice. We respect the Saints too much to do that.

Plus we’re a trifle scared of them.

Which would indicate that we’re bonkers for, of course, the Saints are fictional. But they’re bonkers too, so hey, maybe we’d hit it off?

Anyway, the boss has been kidnapped by Satan for a shotgun wedding date with his daughter, Jezebel. Being saintly Saints, Gat and Kinzie follow the molten brick road down, down, deeper down to get their saviour on. You meet an old acquaintance and score natty wings, then set about doing the stuff you do in Saints games in rather fiery environs.

In a slight twist, you need to complete what are usually side missions in order to befriend historical figures such as Shakespeare and Blackbeard. You encounter more collectibles than are healthy, more demonic entities than you’d likely prefer and amass more weird ‘n’ wonderful weaponry than Adam Baldwin’s ever wanked over. All, of course, in the inimitably self-reverential and generally piss-funny Saints way.

Hell (erm, yes it is), there’s even a Disneyfied musical number!

If you’re boring, you can complete the main story in six or seven hours. But get into the spirit of things and you’ll spend 15-20 hours completing every mission and tracking down all collectibles. That’s not too shabby for a small bucks Saints spectacular.

We could whine that it isn’t super now-gen, that there’re glitches, clunks, frustrations and no sudden outbursts of Mr Loaf’s seminal works like the hilarious Aerosmith assault of SRIV.

But no, we won’t do that.

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