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POSTED 29/11/11
SPIDER-MAN: EDGE OF TIME
Activision
PS3 (also on Xbox 360, Wii, DS, 3DS)
Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig, does whatever a spider-pig does. Can he
swing, from a web? No he can’t, he’s a pig, Look out! He is a
spider-pig.
Why’ve we gone all Homer on you? It’s a buttering-up ploy. Make you
feel cheery before pounding you with unfortunate news.
Spider-Man: Edge of Time is a tad smelly.
Crawl. Crawl-crawl. Crawl-crawl-crawly-crawl. Get used to it, for
you’ll be doing a lot of it. Basically, two Spideys team up to save
each other and their times, for evil future science-dude Walker
Sloan (voiced by real genius Val Kilmer) has done a Biff in Back
to the Future II thing and broken how past shit should be. No
more Daily Bugle, as Alchemax, Sloan’s future conglomeration
that he’s backdated, pretty much rules the roost. Think Apple, but
more nefarious...
Honestly, it can be confusing. If Peter Parker picks a peck of
pickled pushing up daisies, then Miguel ‘why so serious?’ O’Hara –
2099’s Spidey - carks it. We think.
We do know there’s lotsa in-Alchemax fightin’ going down within two
times, and it’s pretty banal, mashable and repetitetitetitetitive.
You’ve a handful of gradually upgradeable moves – 2099’s
dash-leaving-decoys-in-your-wake is kinda cool, as is PP’s
hyperspeed - as you basically crawl, confront guards, get through a
door then repeat, but in a tag team style with occasional boss
battles. There isn’t a hell of a lot to do web swingy-wise (Hello?
McSpider?!), as it’s all pretty much automated and inside
claustrophobic confines. Let the console play all the fun bits,
cheers then.
After the quite funky Shattered
Dimensions, also from developers Beenox, we’re left
befuddled, as they’ve somehow managed to regress. Maybe with all
this time travelling shit they actually fucked up the space-time
continuum and cobbled this together before
Shattered Dimensions? Damn!
Where’s Doc Brown when we need him?!
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