POSTED 18/3/15


SÖLDNER-X 2: FINAL PROTOTYPE

Eastasiasoft

The almighty Oxford dictionary defines ‘pew’ thusly: A long bench with a back, placed in rows in the main part of some churches to seat the congregation.

What the fuck do they know?

We define ‘pew’ like this: Noise made repeatedly while raining photon death upon invading alien scumbag forces.

Right, now that’s sorted, if the (rather awkward) name Söldner-X 2: Final Prototype makes a bell go ding-a-ling-a-ling somewhere within your cranial containment area it’s because it’s been on PS3 for yonks. Think of it as one of those best kept secret kind of things. Except that if it rang a bell the secret wasn't necessarily kept that well.

Anyway, it’s a classic side-scrolling shmup. Remember R-Type? Gradius? Salamander?

IF NO THEN GOTO PSN THEN BUY.

IF YES THEN GOTO PSN THEN BUY.

Basically, what we’ll call X2 from hereon in for ease of typingness takes numerous cues from those defining moments in arcade shmupitude and adds a little heart. Not literally, rather you have a certain amount of life force (heh) that depletes when hit, rather than suffering the ignominy of instant death.

It works well, although it makes it easy to romp through the first five levels of seven in the main game. What adds quite some difficulty is the need to collect blobby yellow keys to unlock the last two levels. Which aren’t actually the last two levels, as you have to buy the actual last three levels separately. That’s a tad dubious.

What adds even more difficulty is numerous challenges. These take the meaning of that particular word when it’s referring to testing one’s abilities most literally, and can be insanely frustrating. As can seemingly blitzing a level only to receive the type of mark that’d have Lisa Simpson jumping in front of the Springfield Elementary bus. Whoa!

Ultimately though, X2 gives damned fine pew. Sit on that!

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