POSTED 31/10/13


SAINTS ROW IV

Deep Silver

Hey! Who you callin’ a PUSA, beeyatch?!

Oh shit yeah, the Saints is gone all presidential! Hug a massive mofo nucular missile (accompanied, hilariously, by Aerosmith’s ‘I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing’) and it’s amazing where it can git you. Leader of the ‘free world’ – yeah - and cushy White Crib beddybobos. But then fucking aliens beam down and party crash. Now was that civilised? No, clearly not...

Injected into a Matrix-like world by a well-spoken yet hideously pockmarked space captor, things start all Leave it to Beaver-like before you kick-ass your way back to Steelport-as-you-know-it. Well, a virtual one. Things become a little more familiar – a little - as copious batshit-bonkers missions await. Yeah, you jack vehicles, eradicate alien strongholds, climb towers and shit, but they’re small potatoes (harmonise now, “Potatoes!”).

Newfound superpowers, seemingly nabbed from InFamous’ rather spritely protagonist, add new dimensions of ability – and silliness. It could be argued that this takes away many joys – like vehicular amassment - but it could also be argued that they’re the Saints, mofo, and they’ll do what they fuckin’ want! Seriously, want collectibles? Thousands of ’em (literally – well, over a thousand at least). Nutso weaponry? Try speaking softly and carrying a big frickin’ dubstep gun to wubwubwub suckas into, erm, somewhere dubsteppy. Wanna eschew main space questiness for hangin’ Stockport-style? It’ll work for a while, UFO piloting and all.

Saints Row has never taken things seriously, and has been better for it, with only serious glitchiness causing downfalliness. This fourth incarnation’s hardly gonna graduate all dux-like in avoiding that hiccupitude, but it’s mucho acer than Saints Row: The Third. With the perfectly preposterous alien invasion schtick it’s also even more of a cack. Fun, but in no sense civilised – yeah!

After all, the Saints have never advocated war, except as a means of peace. Mu-tha-fuckas!

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