POSTED 27/4/12


PURE CHESS

Ripstone
PS3/PSN (also on Vita/PSN)

The sixth century comes alive! 64 squares! 32 champions! Mesmerising battles! Mind-blowing strategy! Royalty at war! Horsies! Prawns! Saturday, Saturday, Saturday!

Nope. No matter how much we try to hype it, Chess is never going to be an eyeball-searing orgasm of scintillation. Not everything has to be, either. Still, Pure Chess, from the clever VooFoo croocroo (think shiny bally Hustle Kings), adds much polish to something that’s rooted in strategy rather than hoopla.

Solo players have three modes – one-off games, tournaments and challenges where you’re plopped in mid-game, with deep doodoo to plough through. Online multiplayer nods to pre-internet days in that you can only ‘play by mail’ a turn at a time with PSN pals. Two can go head-to-head locally though. It even records your ELO rating. What the fuck Jeff Lynne has to do with Chess is beyond us...

It plays a challenging game on all ten levels – we’re poopoo, so the basic one’s hard enough - and features a comprehensive tutorial that goes into famous strategies and even tries to explain some bizarre rule where castles and kings can switcheroonie. Snuh?

Seriously, we’ve been known to complain about game rules or controls being convoluted, yet when you think about it the laws of chess are quite bonkerstastical. This piece goes this way, that one that way and horsies can only do Tetris ‘L’ shape impersonations. Prawns can only move straight, but diagonally to conquer other bits – it’s nuts! Yet it’s endured for some 1,500 years. Maybe we’ll still be playing Defender come the year 3512?

Meanwhile, whichever Chess set you choose in whichever venue – with more, such as Pseudo Echo’s debut album, available separately - it looks stunning. Full 1080p shiny-shininess, rotatable boards and even 3D support for posh teev types.

Oh yeah, we know that they’re really pawns. We just like seafood – and shit-stirring purists...

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