POSTED 24/3/15


LA COPS

Team 17

Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?

Well, for starters they can’t make this isometric rip-off of Hotline Miami any better. No matter how much sugary, jammy, icingy goodness – UNGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! - they may contain.

It’s a damn shame, too, as this here idea had potential. Actually it still has it, for if somebody did this right...

Anyway, LA Cops plops itself firmly in the halcyon days of buddy cop shows – the 1970s and ’80s - and absorbs every sexist, racist cue that it can from the era. Authentic homage or flimsy justification? Hmm...

With relatively unique pop art visuals that highlight the facial fuzz while dispensing with such lip-synching requirements as, ooh, lips, the player – singular - controls two cops chosen from a small pool of stereotypes in eight missions (plus bonus levels) involving taking down shonky types.

At this juncture we must ask why the fucking fuck is there no local co-op? Seriously?! Didn’t it occur to the devs that it was kind of a really bloody obvious requirement?

Yeah, OK. On with it.

So, levels are all similar, and all populated with numerous sharpshooters who put that American Sniper bloke to shame. You and your chosen partner also have firearms, and a button press will lock on to one baddie. But let off one shot and more often than not a swathe of their fellow lowlifes will assail you, and before you can blink you’ll be deader than whatever the fuck’s inside a Chiko Roll and convinced that this should be called LA Corpse. Yet other times, bad guys will ignore you entirely, allowing sneak-sneak arresting. Bleurgh!

This lack of AI consistency is the most frustrating aspect of many in LA Cops, along with the feeling that with a tad more attention and time this could have been absolutely killer.

But it isn’t. Our advice? Donut enlist.

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