POSTED 17/1/12


KINECTIMALS NOW WITH BEARS!

Microsoft

There’s a bear in there... OH SHIT! SERIOUSLY, THERE’S A BEAR IN THERE! DON’T JUST SIT MURMURING “HUH-HUR-WHATNOW?”, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Oh hang on, it’s inside the teev, phew. Crisis averted. Actually, it’s kind of cute, in an I’ll-rip-your-face-off-when-I-get-big-enough-I-will kind of way. So, why is there a bear in our telly? Because – and you likely guessed by the title we’re reviewing - Kinectimals has been invaded by them.

It’s serious truth in advertising, for what you’d think you get you do. As well as a choice of several feline critters, there are now five bears (to start with) from which you can choose a roly-poly chum; brown, polar, grizzly (for the hipsters), a yellowy kind of one and, of course, the panda (we wanted Gummi, but oh well). As everybody will choose the monochromatic bamboo chompers, we adopted a polar bear and named it Pollywollydoodle – like you care.

Otherwise, this is essentially just the first Kinectimals (our thoughts on which are here) with a bear remix sticky-taped in. Still, there have been a few operational tweaks for the better, and the bears’ annoying bee thing is less annoying than the cats’ one. Bears also get to do a handful of extra exploits like juggling and climbing trees.

So, nutshelling it, we’re talking digital pet city with the playing and the grooming and the questing and the patting and the doing tricks and stuff.

Oh, one shitacular thing is that you can only have one saved game – so, if you’ve an existing pet kitty-kat (MMMmmm...chocolatey, wafery fingers) that you’ve spent ages nurturing, you’ll have to kill it to get beary action. This, of course, is a really, really idiotic move that’s going to be all shades of ARGH to explain to the little kiddiewinkiedoodlepoppets.

Anyway, that’s enough, we’re tired little blippy bearZZZZZZzzzzzz...

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