POSTED 25/8/10


KANE & LYNCH 2: DOG DAYS

Square Enix
PS3 (also on Xbox 360, PC)

B-B-B-BLORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFT! Urgh, hello lunch.

Sorry about that, however this here return of foulmouthed duo Kane and Lynch makes your average Lars von Trier flick look like it was made with a Steadicam. The whole YouTube meets Cops’ evil spinoff Crims (well, it’s an idea) with its effects and shaky “you’re there” camerawork oozes style. But if you’re not careful, you’ll be oozing tummy contents. David Stratton would be apoplectic.

It all starts as a simple reunion for the duo, but naturally it goes south quicker than a slapper craving the taste of doodle. Hang on – we haven’t said “fuck” yet. We’d be remiss if we didn’t, for it’s the favoured expletive of the bloke you control in single player mode, Lynch. He’s one bonkers bastard, as he lets bullets, shotgun blasts and exploding stuff rip not only on the Chinese underworld, but on what appears to be the entire police force as well.

You, console-controlled Kane and cohorts progress through the lows and highs of Shanghai, shooting the bejebus out of everybody. That’s about it. Shoot, duck and cover, shoot more, hopefully kill the baddies – it’s astounding how many close range bullets some take without dying, yet they’ll let off one shot and you’re toast. This is really bloody annoying; as are some of the glitched graphics you’ll invariably come across. The most irritating thing though? Just as you’re really digging it, the game finishes. Say, four hours of play and an end more abrupt than the abruptest of abrupty things. Fuck!

Despite its flaws, K&L2 dishes some great mindless Big Dumb Action Flick ultraviolent fun. Just don’t expect your primo A grade shit – more a passable Chinese knockoff.

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