POSTED 6/1/13


JETPACK JOYRIDE

Halfbrick
Vita/PSN (also on PS3/PSN, PC, iOS, Android, Crackberry)

Alexander, Arthur, Conan, Ivan... all bloody heroic names. Barry? Well, according to history, not so much. However, change is afoot...

For Barry Steakfries is the hero of Jetpack Joyride, our all-time fave iOS romp that’s so good it’s hit the Vita twice in as many months – first as a comparatively expensive Minis release, now secondly as a free PSN release, with trophies and stuff. Bar-ry! Bar-ry! Bar-ry!

If you don’t like simple yet fiendishly addictive arcade games then you’ll take an instant dislike to Bazza – which is sad, for he has charming ways with everything from a verdant mohawk to a natty suit. Anyway, the mild-mannered ex-gramophone salesman turned jetpack spruiker defies his employers upon discovering their nefariousness, so he attempts to escape their elaborately booby-trapped research facility. Seriously, if WorkCover ever pop a surprise inspection on this joint the owners are fucked.

We’re talking right-to-left side-scroller, whereby Baz just sits in one spot going up and down depending upon how long you plop your finger off or on the Vita’s touchscreen (default is rear touchpad, it’s naff, change it). Due to that aforementioned scrolliness, all manner of also aforementioned booby-traps hurtle Baz-wards, so he shooms aforementionedly up and down all dodgy-like, collecting coins, avoiding zappage and hopping into any of six vehicular power-ups from a funktacular Harley to metal dragon Mr Cuddles, aiming to get as far the hell away as possible. Usually that won’t be far... But there are always innumerable game-set goals to keep you addicted.

Coin collection enables the purchasing of products, not unlike real commerce because it’s the same as real commerce. You can grind and use in-game coins, or do what Halfbrick want and buy them with real money to progress quicker. To their credit (heh), the game isn’t borked, save for one trophy that’ll take forever. Respect.

Do we want ‘fries with that? Yes please!

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