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POSTED
6/1/13
JETPACK JOYRIDE
Halfbrick
Vita/PSN (also on PS3/PSN, PC, iOS, Android, Crackberry)
Alexander, Arthur, Conan, Ivan... all bloody heroic names. Barry?
Well, according to history, not so much. However, change is afoot...
For Barry Steakfries is the hero of Jetpack Joyride, our
all-time fave iOS romp that’s so good it’s hit the Vita twice in as
many months – first as a comparatively expensive Minis release, now
secondly as a free PSN release, with trophies and stuff. Bar-ry!
Bar-ry! Bar-ry!
If you don’t like simple yet fiendishly addictive arcade games then
you’ll take an instant dislike to Bazza – which is sad, for he has
charming ways with everything from a verdant mohawk to a natty suit.
Anyway, the mild-mannered ex-gramophone salesman turned jetpack
spruiker defies his employers upon discovering their nefariousness,
so he attempts to escape their elaborately booby-trapped research
facility. Seriously, if WorkCover ever pop a surprise inspection on
this joint the owners are fucked.
We’re talking right-to-left side-scroller, whereby Baz just sits in
one spot going up and down depending upon how long you plop your
finger off or on the Vita’s touchscreen (default is rear touchpad,
it’s naff, change it). Due to that aforementioned scrolliness, all
manner of also aforementioned booby-traps hurtle Baz-wards, so he
shooms aforementionedly up and down all dodgy-like, collecting
coins, avoiding zappage and hopping into any of six vehicular
power-ups from a funktacular Harley to metal dragon Mr Cuddles,
aiming to get as far the hell away as possible. Usually that won’t
be far... But there are always innumerable game-set goals to keep
you addicted.
Coin collection enables the purchasing of products, not unlike real
commerce because it’s the same as real commerce. You can grind and
use in-game coins, or do what Halfbrick want and buy them with real
money to progress quicker. To their credit (heh), the game isn’t
borked, save for one trophy that’ll take forever. Respect.
Do we want ‘fries with that? Yes please!
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