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POSTED
18/6/11
DUNGEON SIEGE III
Square
Enix
PS3 (also on Xbox 360, PC)
Monsters.
Fuckers! All that “GRR!” crap and trying to separate our limbs from
our torsos – yep, despise the fuckers. If you’re a hater too then
massacring masses of them is the first big tick for DSIII.
It’s not the only one though, assuming you’re into RPGs with actiony
bits.
To us, RPGs resemble free jazz. We dig the principle, but we’re left
colder than an Eskimo in a deep freeze in Siberia in winter – during
a cold snap, in the nuddy with ice blocks rammed up their jacksie.
So, we consulted some D&D-savvy associates to accompany us through
this sucker, for other than prettiness, we couldn’t discern much
difference to Master System bouts of Phantasy Star, Ys
and such; text screeds, perambulating, spoof-loads of loot,
rudimentary enemy elimination, purchasing power-ups, repeating for
several hours.
Still, by virtue of the appended ‘III’, this Dungeon Siege
has heritage – despite changing hands from originator Chris Taylor
to Obsidian Entertainment, the mob behind buggy-but-nice
Fallout: New Vegas.
You pick one of four characters from a 50-50 gender mix. Story-wise,
the kingdom of Ehb is, well, low ebbing, with regicide being blamed
on those who established the joint; legionnaires. They’re falling
like nine pins, but not from the obvious – legionnaires disease
(BAM!) - rather one Jeyne, who’s determined to cleanse any
remainders of that nobility. This sucks for you, ’cos you’re one of
them.
Multiplayer options abound – split screen local or online – and
there’s jump in/out anytime, but ultimately as a multiplayer romp
DSIII makes for great solo entertainment.
Constant management made us pooey – faffing tracking 11 abilities
instead of joyfully hacking the shite out of monsters - but we were
advised to pull our heads in by our consultant associates.
RPGs really aren’t our bag baby, but associates say party fears two
– uh...
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