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POSTED 10/11/12


DISHONORED

Arkane Studios/Bethesda



See that missing letter there? Well no, probably, because it’s missing. Anyway, blame Nintendo...

Yep, they made all their new Wii U consoles, only to face a world shortage of the letter that falls between ‘T’ and ‘V’ alphamabetically to stick on them. So, they spent considerable $$$s stockpiling all instances of that letter everywhere. We were saving the one we typed there for a special occasion. Aren’t we good to ye?

Anyway, this is basically The Bodygard: The Game. Bt withot Kevin Costner, no Whitney Hoston, and – well, really all the two have in common is fck all. Still, yo, Corvo, were the Empress’ protector, ’til yo done got framed for her death. Bring on one completely jstified revenge trip, starting with jailbreak (insert Angs Yong riff here), and involving everything from sewer crawling to river trawling, with lots more besides. We don’t wish to say too mch, as part of the joy of Dishonored is discovery. Which makes p for some of the shit yo’re expected to eat – jellied eels, brined hagfish, potted whale meat... prolific vomit.

So, any gastronomes reading, don’t plan on a steampnk ftre, m’kay?

Anyway, yor qest to clear yor name and bring those nastynogoodlowdownframingbastichwhyIorta assassins to jstice takes place in a first-person view. We cold be slack and say it’s sort of a sedately-toned Mirror’s Edge meets Assassin’s Creed... and we will. Bt there’s depth to DIshonored beyond its stealth mechanics, weaponry ranging from typical to mystical, spectaclar artwork, an enthralling overall vibe and those horrid pickled foodstffs: This thing has a conscience.

Yep, yo can flit along merrily, going all killkillkill thrillthrillthrill, or yo can be all ninjatastic stealthamatronic. “So?” yo may be scoffing. Well if yo tread merciflly then yo jst may get a vastly better game experience than if yor a total cnt...

take me back to the start...

 



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ALL WRITTEN CONTENT COPYRIGHT © AMY FLOWER 2008-2018. GAME IMAGES COURTESY OF RESPECTIVE GAMES COMPANIES.