POSTED 31/10/10


DEAD RISING 2

Capcom
PS3 (also on Xbox 360, PC)

We’d be really bloody worried if we were zombies nowadays. Not flaky complexion issues or the inability to dance to any song other than ‘Thriller’, rather the need for sustenance from brains. Look around – IQs are plummeting at an alarming pace. No brains = no zombies. Scary, huh?

Except we’re not zombies, so fuck ’em all to hell – let’s smush ’em, crush ’em, beat ’em and defeat ’em – YEAH!

Conveniently, if you’ve a hankerin’ for such zombie puree-ification, then Dead Rising 2 may be your manna. It’s a zombie-bashin’ ace time – jus’ with fuck-tonnes of cutscenes to extinguish yo’ kill-buzz. Those cutscenes! There’s more of ’em than on a hyperactive film editor’s floor. All this story involving the onscreen you – motocross bloke Chuck Greene, who’s lookin’ out for his littl’un, ’cos she was done munched on by a zombie and needs this drug Zombrex to stop her goin’ all shambly an’ shit - is fine, but if you just wanna get yo’ smush on, you’ll be waitin’ lots.

…and weve run out of apostrophes. Capcom love attaching excessive verbiage to their zombie-fests, so we expect, but dont necessarily like it. Zombie eradication – the main attraction - is awesome, just punctuated too frequently by those cutscenes and loading screens. Most anything can be grabbed and weaponified, but the fun doesnt really begin until you go all MacGyver and concoct combo weapons. It starts with nails in a baseball bat and gets nefariouser from there.

Theres heaps to keep diligent collectors collecting, although theyll find themselves hampered by time limits so your kid doesnt cark it. Then theres rescuing stray idiots. We suggest saving often – just pop into a dunny - as sometimes a deadly zombie munch surprises.

Dang, were missin those ap-os-tro-phes more than our teeth...

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