POSTED 26/2/13


CRYSIS 3

EA
PS3 (also on Xbox 360, PC)

Prophet came from the army, MIA
Bitch-slapped his way across the USA
Donned a nanosuit on the way
Went part robot, less humanity
He says, “Hey babe, take a stomp on the wild side...”

Yes, he’s a supersoldier (thanks for asking), and he’s out to bring down the baddies – and we’ve got both kinds, human and alien!

Once again New York is the stompy-wompy stamping ground, although little of what the burg’s renowned for remains underneath the Springfieldian bubbledome that the evil CELL mob’s plopped over it. In fact the jungle’s raised a middle, erm, twig and screamed, “Fuck you humans, we’re going back to... uh, us!”. Yep, it’s somewhat verdant. It also looks ace.

Along with your very Pommie sidekick ‘Psycho’, you’ll do classic corridors and wide open jungular spaces. You’ll play with shonky vehicles and all manner of amazing alien-infused tech. The big thing once again is your upgradeable nanosuit, which allows everything from hacking electronics – basically if Tricky Dicky flogs it, you’ll get in – to hypervision, invisibility, super protecty armour and coffee making (although it apparently tastes shitty – can’t have everything.)

You’re not just armed to the teeth with guns, as you’ve a technificent bow and arrow arrangement – think full metal cupid, although love’s hardly your mission as you merrily fwa-toong pointy projectiles enemy-wards, sticking them to walls or whatever else might have had the unfortunate timing to be behind them at the time. It’s perfect for stealthtacularrrrrrrity, but if you’re feeling a tad gung-ho then hey, who’s the game to stop you?

The high-tech angle, and its smooth and intuitive control system, help elevate Crysis 3 above being just another FPS, but it’s also, perhaps ironically considering we’re talking a militarised Robocop kinda protagonist, the humanity that’s infused in the story which really hits home.

And the coloured girls go doo do-doo, do-doo, do do-doo...

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