POSTED 17/2/10


BAYONETTA

SEGA
PS3 (also on Xbox 360)

How’s this for a videogame heroine pitch? A tall, long dark haired, pneumatically bosomed witch with a waist Betty Boop would kill for, tight-fitting clothing, guns at each hand AND foot, and more kick-arse moves – both natural and supernatural – than an army of Buffy the Vampire Slayers. Oh, and with a voice and attitude akin to Supernanny on serious sassy pills.

Yep, sounds like a typically oversexed, spotty 14-year-old’s wank fantasy to us, which makes us wonder where Hideki Kamiya, the bloke behind Bayonetta and previously the much-lauded Devil May Cry series, has his head.

Actually, meh, who cares? For beyond the cavalcade of stereotypes resides a game that’s actually quite good – surprisingly good. Stay up way past our bedtimes good, even!

Akin to Devil May Cry stylistically – a third person slash and maim ‘em up with exploration elements – Bayonetta goes for more of a fantasy-meets-exploitation flick vibe and pulls it off, from the jive talkin’, arms dealin’ barman Rodin, to the many snappy quips that leave our brazen, lollipop-sucking heroine’s mouth.

Being at heart a beat ‘em up, you could think combat would become repetitive. Not so, as whilst mashing will get you by on easier levels, play it on hard and you’ll need to master the innumerable amount of combos and special moves to progress beyond frequent deadness.

The only real let down WAS load times. Pretty much everything you did needed to load... However, we're cheating and editing this, 'cos after its original publication SEGA released a patch to save the low of patience such as ourselves with HDD install of the game. 

To the naughty step, Kamiya-san – but not for too long, sweetie...

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