POSTED 8/3/16


ASSAULT ANDROID CACTUS

Witch Beam Games

Hey dictionary, we need to talk.

We love you, but we’re worried. You’ve become, well, quite a hoarder. It’s OK though, for we’re going to help you declutter.

Definitions for words like relentless, intense, frenetic, stressful, sweaty and awesome – plus all their Rogetified synonyms - can easily be shortened by changing them to ‘See Assault Android Cactus’.

What? Well, Assault Android Cactus is a twin-stick shooter that belongs in the family tree of such arcade royalty as Robotron 2084 and Smash TV. In fact, if the name Eugene Jarvis had popped in the credits we wouldn’t have batted an eyelid.

But AAC stems from a core team of three Brisbane-based clever people. They do have impressive histories though, with resumes boasting names like Midway, SEGA and the BBC.

This arcade heritage radiates through AAC. Visuals pop like the best coin-gobblers, sonics have a delectable SEGAfied quality, options and extras abound – including local multiplayer - and it’s all assembled so slickly that you could bung it in an arcade and just sit back and watch the coinage cascade in.

You play as an android named Cactus, or (eventually) any of eight other robo-chicks of varying abilities. When we say abilities, we mean firepower. A series of chapters are divided into levels, each of which has its own high scores and (ambitious) aims for S-tacular perfection. With various big, bastardly bosses to contend with, a spot of trial and error is required weapons-wise. This is no namby-pamby shooter.

Being all battery-operated and stuff, your chosen hero requires regular influxes of juice to continue functioning. These generally pop at necessary times, but not always. This is the only fault we can find with AAC – we swear we’ve never sworn so much at a game than when, nanoseconds from conquering a level, our character went all BAWOO-WOP-WOP floppy.

That aside, AAC totally rocks – let’s add ‘essential’ and ‘masterpiece’ to that decluttering list.

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