POSTED 9/11/13


ASSASSIN'S CREED IV: BLACK FLAG

Ubisoft
PS3 (also on PS4, Xbox 360, Xbox One, Wii U, PC)

Sailin’ through this world, TWANG-TWANG-TWAAAAAAAANG, all alone...

Well, except for sea shanty-singin’ mateys. That’d be hardcore punk sea shanties, natch.

Nah, this latest Assassin’s Creed is Rollins-free (bugger), and doesn’t ride a Harley. But damn that new protagonist bloke Eddie Kenway is Jax Teller doppelgangery. Which can be distracting.

Which isn’t ideal, as there’s much requiring attentiveness here. So much that we doubt we’ll cover it within our pissy word limit. Especially after wasting so much time on inconsequential shit already.

OK, we’re talking the ‘golden age’ of piracy. That’s not the sort games companies frown upon (unless they released Captain Morgane – BOOMTISH!), rather the “ARRRRR! Mateys!” Edward Scissorhands-channelling-Keef schtick. This is good, as it means ships, open seas and cannonballs (though sadly no Breeders).

So, welcome to the Caribbean circa 1715. Or the modern day at a Canadian videogames company, as you kinda Animus-flit between the two. We’ll stick to the fun first bit, which is the gig’s meat and spuds. They probably should add oranges to avoid scurvy though.

While the protagonist’s new, all the stuff that AC lovers love’s pretty much here, with bonus open seasiness. Navigate between islands and major towns, scuttle ships, plunder them, go diving and flirt with Davy Jones’ locker (‘Hey babe, damn you’re a sexy repository!’). Then hit land and go all runny, jumpy, stealthy classic Assassin’s.

Just sticking to the main plot will keep you busy for ages, while if you obsess over digging up (often literally) every collectible you could lose weeks.

We’ve recurring niggles with Ed’s uncanny ability to adhere to most everything we don’t fucking want him to when running, but the sheer scope of missions – mostly fun, save for too many interminable follow sneakily and eavesdrop chores - ultimately won us over.

You might say that we found it Charming...

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